just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I believe in your delicious
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
