Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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