I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
