My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
