Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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