Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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