dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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