We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
