Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
