no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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