omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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