hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so let's talk penis.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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