the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
