If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So many bounce houses so little time
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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