Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
