highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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