hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
