ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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