I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
