Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
