Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
