so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
