My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
