But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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