Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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