So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
