Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Farmville is her only friend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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