Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
