i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
