NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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