Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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