I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
my poor anus
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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