There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am one with the molecules
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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