Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
