escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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