i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Oh god it's open bar.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
