I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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