If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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