I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
