he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
