The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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