well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
