so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
