The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
