So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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