Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
