so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
