And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
