I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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