My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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