Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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