Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
