and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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