dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
