Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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