careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
