Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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