Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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