Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
