didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
