it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
