hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize