So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
