why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
