I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
