I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
