found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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