she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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