You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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