I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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