i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's the barista slut.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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