I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
