the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
