the condom got lost in my hair
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
