Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
