Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
