Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
