Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
