I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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